Tag Archives: mormonism

Chapter 1: Party & Preface

13 Nov

I have a terrible confession to make.

I gave Stephenie Meyer my money. I feel very dirty about this, but it had to be done.

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Chapter 22: Hide and Seek

24 Oct

I know I said I was going to get this one up quickly, but this chapter turned out to be difficult to write about. Some bad things happen, and I’m not too sure how I feel about Smeyer’s decision to make them happen. I’m pretty disturbed and uncomfortable about the whole thing.

[TRIGGER WARNING: towards the end of the review, description of gratuitous violence (no photos)]

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Chapter 19: Goodbyes

9 Oct

I realize it’s taken me a while to write about this chapter. I’ve been putting it off. This chapter bothered me, and I wasn’t sure how to write about it. I’m not sure how I feel about what Smeyer is doing. On one hand, I’m happy there is finally a plot, but on the other hand, I feel very strange about the plot Smeyer chose. She’s the author, she is in charge of this. Anything could happen. And still, she chooses this?

It’s also bothering me that I am actually thinking this hard about Twilight.

[TRIGGER WARNING: victim blaming]

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Chapter 13: Confessions

31 Aug

In this episode of Girl & Twilight, Edward steps into the sunlight and we learn that he is a vampire that sparkles in the sun. HE IS A VAMPIRE THAT SPARKLES. IN THE SUN. Turns out Smeyer wrote this chapter first, from a dream she had (please note: the author dreamt about a sparkly vampire, thought “oh my yes, yes indeed,” then proceeded to write a book). After writing this chapter, then finishing the book, she wrote chapters 1 to 12 just to get to chapter 13. So everything I have read was an afterthought, and all of my hunches about speeding the “plot” along to get to the romance were correct. Great. Awesome. Excuse me while I get a beer.

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Chapter 11: Complications

26 Aug

In this episode of Amy-Jean reads Twilight, nothing happens. So I wrote a little play for you.

COMPLICATIONS

a play for the stage by Amy-Jean M, esq.

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Chapter 10: Interrogations

24 Aug

In this chapter, we gather proof that Edward and Bella are the two creepiest individuals alive, so maybe they are made for each other after all, since I really don’t know who else would have them.

I can only assume that this is the set up for what will be the “plot” of the remainder of the book (of the series?): Edward and Bella’s creepy, manipulative, abusive relationship.

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Chapter 8: Port Angeles

13 Aug

Before I begin, I need you to understand how angry this chapter has made me. It’s made me angry for several reasons. Mostly because I need no further proof that the relationship between Bella and Edward is so, so toxic and dangerous to any woman who reads this book thinking that this is an ideal love story.

[TRIGGER WARNINGS: discussion of rape (non-explicit; rape does not actually occur), rape culture, verbal abuse & abusive relationships]

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Chapter 7: Nightmare

10 Aug

In this chapter, Bella gets emo to embarrassing music, makes her worst life decision yet, and Stephenie Meyer violates all laws of foreshadowing. Are you ready for this? I’m not.

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Chapter 4: Invitations

4 Aug

Bella has a dream that Edward is glowing. The remainder of the chapter is high school dance drama. Are you excited or are you excited? Let’s do this.

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Introduction/Why?

24 Jul

Why oh why am I doing this?

When I was in high school, I was in an English class that was part of some sort of pilot curriculum. Because of this, we got tons and tons of new books; some of them in class sets, most of them young adult fiction. I tore through most of them, reading under my desk all day. One of the class sets we got was Twilight.

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