Tag Archives: the cullens

Chapter 1: Party & Preface

13 Nov

I have a terrible confession to make.

I gave Stephenie Meyer my money. I feel very dirty about this, but it had to be done.

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Chapter 23: The Angel

27 Oct

In this chapter of Twilight… well, it’s 4 pages long. We’re at the climax of the story and this chapter is 4 pages long. Since everything that happens can be summarized in one sentence, all I can do is mercilessly pick apart all of the stupid contained in these four pages.

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Chapter 22: Hide and Seek

24 Oct

I know I said I was going to get this one up quickly, but this chapter turned out to be difficult to write about. Some bad things happen, and I’m not too sure how I feel about Smeyer’s decision to make them happen. I’m pretty disturbed and uncomfortable about the whole thing.

[TRIGGER WARNING: towards the end of the review, description of gratuitous violence (no photos)]

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Chapter 21: Phone Call

22 Oct

This chapter is basically the same as the last chapter: Bella sits in a hotel room and uses a phone. She misses Edward. Alice reveals something with her vampire future powers, and then the revealed event immediately happens. Smeyer expects us to be shocked and surprised and on the edges of our seats. We’re not.

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Chapter 19: Goodbyes

9 Oct

I realize it’s taken me a while to write about this chapter. I’ve been putting it off. This chapter bothered me, and I wasn’t sure how to write about it. I’m not sure how I feel about what Smeyer is doing. On one hand, I’m happy there is finally a plot, but on the other hand, I feel very strange about the plot Smeyer chose. She’s the author, she is in charge of this. Anything could happen. And still, she chooses this?

It’s also bothering me that I am actually thinking this hard about Twilight.

[TRIGGER WARNING: victim blaming]

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Chapter 18: The Hunt

29 Sep

In this episode of Girl & Twilight, Edward Cullen is angry. He is really angry. He is ALL CAPS ANGRY. He is angry at his family for being vampires. He is angry at the other vampires for being vampires. He is angry at himself for being a vampire. But most of all, he is angry at Bella for being human.

You thought you’d seen Edward be unreasonable? You haven’t seen anything yet. Prepare yourselves for Chapter 18, featuring Amy-Jean hopped up on cold medicine! WHEEEE!

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Chapter 17: The Game

24 Sep

Ah, the infamous baseball chapter. I’ve been looking forward to this one.

If you remember, one of the first things we learn about Bella is how much she hates sports (due to her clumsy disease) and how much she particularly hates baseball. Nevertheless, she decides to go watch Edward play vampire baseball.

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Chapter 15 The Cullens & Chapter 16 Carlisle

18 Sep

In this episode of Girl & Twilight, Bella meets the Cullens. Well, Bella meets Edward’s “mum,” Esme, since she met everyone else already. Other than Smeyer’s inability to write, there is no logical reason for this to be two chapters, so I’m just going to review them together, since only like… three things worth mentioning happen in chapter 16.

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