Tag Archives: review

Chapter 13: Killer

31 Aug

Oh my goodness everyone Amyjean is making a G&T post, hold on to your knickers.

In this long past-due episode of Girl&Twilight, Stephenie Meyer coughs up the entire plot of Twilight to use again. Because, you know, it was so riveting the first time around. She also is ruining Jacob so there is next to nothing redeeming about this book at this point.

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Chapter 7: Repetition

2 Dec

This chapter is called Repetition because the book wasn’t repetitive enough already. Bella continues to be moderately insane but aware of her insanity, Jacob continues to be a glorious beautiful person, and Smeyer does that abysmal thing she calls “foreshadowing” again.

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Chapter 5: Cheater

23 Nov

In this episode of Girl and Twilight, Bella mopes at work, mopes in her truck, mopes on the side of the road… and then suddenly begins to act like a normal (albeit insane) human being and some things actually happen. Excited? Me too. Let’s do this.

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Chapter 4: Waking Up

19 Nov

Remember when that one chapter turned into a case study of Why Edward Cullen is a Terrible Person? This chapter is a case study of Why Bella Swan is a Terrible Person. Or, if you prefer, why Bella is the farthest thing ever from anything even resembling a feminist icon. Beyond that, some very strange things happen, and once again, I can literally not believe what I am reading.

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Chapter 3: The End

16 Nov

Just in case you were too thick to catch onto Smeyer spoiling her plot at the end of the last chapter, she has titled this chapter The End just so we really know for sure that Edward is going to leave Bella before it actually happens. For good measure, Smeyer goes on for about 20 pages pretending that we’re going to be surprised.

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Chapter 1: Party & Preface

13 Nov

I have a terrible confession to make.

I gave Stephenie Meyer my money. I feel very dirty about this, but it had to be done.

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Twilight Movie Video Review!

9 Nov

After three days of awkwardly filming myself and stitching the parts together in video editing software I had never used before, I present to you: my video blog review of the Twilight movie!

I’m really excited about this.

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Post-Twilight

3 Nov

I am 1/6 of the way through the Twilight Saga (for now… Smeyer better not write anything else). I’ve given myself a couple of days to think about the first book as a whole.

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Chapter 24: An Impasse & Epilogue

1 Nov

Here we are, kids. The end of Twilight. It’s not the end of this blog, though… I still have movies to watch, and the rest of the series to read. Here is what happens at the end of the novel. It is kind of longer than I thought (the epilogue is honestly another chapter) so I’ll have thoughts about the book as a whole posted before my movie vlog.

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Chapter 23: The Angel

27 Oct

In this chapter of Twilight… well, it’s 4 pages long. We’re at the climax of the story and this chapter is 4 pages long. Since everything that happens can be summarized in one sentence, all I can do is mercilessly pick apart all of the stupid contained in these four pages.

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